Dec 26, 2009

Friendship


These are something that i get about Friendship from reading Sean Covey's 6 The Most Important Decisions You'll Ever Make.. You probably recognize his name from the world's famous author, Stephen Covey who introduced the 7 Habits to the world.. Well, Sean (pronounced Shawn) is his son~

This book (picture) is a very very very good book to read, especially for teens (I don't know why, but i'm still under the illusion that i'm still a teenager.. I'm 23 ok!) If u ask me, the book is surprisingly funny (of course, funnier than his dad's boring adult-based 7 Habits), and i highly recommend it to all of you.. It's a sequel from his 1st and best-seller book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teenager.. (u should get this one too).

**These are some quotations from the book**

Don't walk in front of me, i may not follow.. Don't walk behind me, i may not lead.. Just walk beside me, and be my friend..

This quote reminds me of some of my friends i have had throughout these years.. I'm sure some of u have had this kind of experience too.. Your BFF suddenly got elected to be, say, the head prefect, or some head committee, and then the friendship was never the same again.. Especially when you're working under him/her..

The nicest person u've ever met turned to this cold, controlling, cocky, bossy and mean SOB.. Because of his new position, of course.. It's like i never knew him at all.. But what disappoints me the most is the fact that this position wasn't even a paid job.. It's a school / university for God's sake!

So i expected him to treat me as a friend, not acting like a boss or something.. But magically soon after he was no longer holding the position, he turned back into this nice and warm person again. So apparently he's CAPABLE of being nice.. Geez, shocking.

So after realizing that positions DO change someone, i decided not to hold any positions, because i couldn't even bear the thought of being that cold person right after i'm at the top. (Yeah rite, i didn't hold any positions by choice) hehehe

*************

Always allow friends space and don't cling to them; they will always be there if they are worth keeping.


I am one of those friends who is clingy, and honestly i can see some of my friends have started to feel uncomfortable with me. Maybe it's because i always feel insecure; afraid that nobody would be around when i needed help or something..

So i thought, betul jugak.. Instead of making them uncomfortable by hanging out all the time and making them follow me everywhere i go (weird, coz i always think of myself as a 'private' kinda person), what if i give them some distance, and see if they would actually come around when i actually needed help.. They'll come eventually, if (big IF) they are worth keeping (^_^)

*********

If i had learned something throughout my life about friendship, it's this: If u like (as in, really really like) being friends with someone, don't spend too much time together. Some would disagree, but i have my own reasons..

You know the wonderful feeling when we first discovered, "wow, this person could actually be my BFF." I personally think it's the best feeling ever (true, bcoz i still haven't had any serious relationship going on.. If i have, i'm sure that would be my first choice..hehe)

But when you spend too much time together, eventually you will find some of his flaws that u couldn't tolerate, and vice versa. Suddenly the magic is lost (-_-) So i think, instead of ruining that magical feeling, what if i keep some distance and let the excitement persists for as long as possible.. I'd be missing so much fun, true.. But that way i got nothing to lose. (^_~)

**************

Last quotation, (but not from the book though) ;p

Friendship is like peeing in your own pants; everyone can see it, but only you who can feel the warmth that it brings.

(^_^)


8 comments:

Tobibah Ainy said...

aha..another perspective about friendship~

c's said...

position means responsibility.. being bossy to our own friends is act irritates both parties.

dont u feel irritating if we need to accomplish a task, everything is queued up to be settled down.. somehow involving too much in emotional relationship makes thing delayed n troublesome. entangled.
if me myself im afraid i wont respond appropriately .. thus, choosing to be cold means we need space..


it needs the utmost effort to reach balance in holding these simultaneously.

btw, thanks.. i like dis post! :)

Muhammad Warouq bin Qamar said...

"Always allow friends space and don't cling to them; they will always be there if they are worth keeping."

"If u like (as in, really really like) being friends with someone, don't spend too much time together"

that's it :) thankyou

trisari cahyaningsih sarimin said...

salam, tmpg lalu =)

"If u like (as in, really really like) being friends with someone, don't spend too much time together"

right, the magic will dissapear~~~
n we dont want it to happen...
so, gv some space for each other
*-*

Effy Saiful said...

Tobibah Ainy: Thanks~

c's: That's another perspective from a person situated 'above'..

Warouq: But those rule doesn't apply to you.. I'd spend a million years beside you, if i could.. But i'm always afraid that u'd be the one who's gonna be sick with me for being too clingy (-_-) weren't u?

trisari: thanks ;)

Muhammad Warouq bin Qamar said...

if the rule doesnt apply to me, there is nothing i can help then. let the magic disappear..and its not only u can make me sick of that clingy thing. everybody does. as a normal grown ass guy, i enjoy my times with all my dudes [yes u r included] but there is a limitation of that. i need space, like u said. being too clingy is a total annoy.

Tobibah Ainy said...

ahahaha~~ sesi luahan perasaan ? ^_^

El Camino Elegido said...

"Don't walk in front of me, i may not follow.. Don't walk behind me, i may not lead.. Just walk beside me, and be my friend.."

That's a quote from Albert Camus